date: — 3/4/2023 —
mood: hopeful + happy!
song: phantom – vestron vulture
fuck, i can’t believe i haven’t posted in so long!! 5 bloody months!
i’ve been going thruuuuuuu it these past few months, but in a good way. my ptsd is finally chilling the fuck out, and the overwhelming symptoms like flashbacks, nightmares, daily panic attacks & hypervigilance have all slowly faded out to a shadow of what they once were. Which led to me being undiagnosed with bipolar disorder, and questioning my racing thoughts and inability to stay organised.
Well, today I got my ADHD diagnosis and I feel like, for the fucking first time in my life, I have a foot on solid ground.
I’m actually excited to try medication and I really hope this enables me to become a more consistent and committed person (and a successful business babe who could go back to university!!).
I’m also really excited for this month, not just because it’s my birthday month and the cannabis holiday season, but because i’m gonna be making more content and (hopefully) streaming on ePlay and maybe MFC. I kinda wanna have a lil cam bday party , idk it could be cute.
It feels good to be getting back to being a real-life human in the real world, instead of being a half-empty person-shaped shell in trauma world.
xx V