date: — 4/6/2022 —
mood: okay
song: bela lugosi’s dead (cover) by nouvelle vague
omg my brain has been fried since my birthday and I’ve spent all my time just trying to rebuild n chill, ya know?
my brains always a hectic mess but it’s been more so the entire month of may. now i’m getting back on my bullshit. i cleaned my house, rearranged my office, started moving more than the bare minimum, and made food with real vegetables, of multiple fucking varieties!!! big changes okay! for a while there i’d regressed to a pizza and coffee only diet and i was NOT feelin cute, and since that’s the feeling that fuels my horniness and my desire to post on my fansites, it’s not been happening at allllll.
anyway, i’m gettin back on my hot horny metal girl shit, so from here on out it’s just me and you ~ horny vibes onlys ~
i want posting on my fansites to feel more like entering subspace than being an organizational blackhole that raises my anxiety like it has been for the past few months after i burnt myself out having barely any fun with it. like the whole thing is supposed to be fun, but it became more about making sure i posted shit on twitter and reddit to get more subscribers, and then diversifying with different platforms because onlyfans fucked us over – from which i have not recovered.
so it was super disheartening to had worked full time for a year on it and have half my subscribers leave coz onlyfans flip-flopped on porn.
i like onlyfans interface coz it feels more personal. same with fansly. but onlyfans hates piss content and probably enema content too if they went thru my customs, so basically their rules harsh my dirty filthy slut vibes. i tried a bunch of other sites but onlyfans is still my fave to use, followed by fansly. so i’m not using my pocketstars anymore (i keep getting new subs and have to keep posting, keeping the page active. vicious cycle) and i’m gonna ditch my fancentro too.
i also wanna find a guy to shoot bdsm + anal content with but onlyfans doesn’t allow 4 limb bondage + it weird about squirting so its really just no fun hahaha. fansly is down with that stuff tho thank fuck.
i need to start thinking about my fansly and onlyfans as my personal horny posting/subspace instead of… idk, worrying about and copying what everyone else is doing, and all the business shit. idk it stresses me out. i need an assistant to post my stuff everywhere so i can get a couple of thousand subscribers so i just have to think about being a horny slut with no other thoughts in my head. my mental health is too much for the stacks of work it takes to be a successful adult content creator without already having a huge following of adoring fans.
i don’t wanna have to blow up on instagram but like, how da fuck is my onlyfans gonna fall into ur laps otherwise u know, haha.
so unless someone wants to be my daddy and tell me how to show off my hot pussy and asshole, i just have to daddy myself.
i think i’m gonna hook up my fuck machine and fuck myself stupid tonight just for fun.
xx V